Development III -- Teething (Part I)

5:06 a.m. -- 7 months, 28 days

"So, you looking forward to going back to work?"

I get this question a lot. Until a couple of weeks ago, each time I'd answered with some variant of "Not really."

It's not that I dislike my job or my employer or my colleagues. It's simply that spending time watching Baby A grow has been a privilege. Every day sees some development, some new physical ability ("She sucks her toes!"), some synapse firing that hadn't fired in the weeks or moments before ("She hears cars!").

Plus, being the primary parent has alleviated much of the biological imbalance that allows (and requires) breast-feeding mothers hours of nurturing time. Though she's gone for most of the day, M maintains a tie to Baby A that I'll never share. It's a complex bond -- when she catches sight of M returning from work, Baby A usually smiles broadly, then bursts into tears. There is need and elemental hunger mixed with the love and nurturance. But its level of intensity is unmatched by any connection a father can provide.

Still, spending the bulk of time with the kid has built ease into our relationship. Baby A likes me, and she's confident that I understand her needs. Thus I can calm her just as easily as her mother can. (More easily, at times.) Indeed, since I understand the rhythms of her day, on the weekends I often find myself explaining to M that the baby always, say, gets tired around 9 in the morning, or hungry at 3:30 in the afternoon.

When I see a father awkwardly struggle to placate his infant or quickly hand the fussy child to its mother, I feel grateful that these months have enabled me to put the "co-" in co-parent.

Of course, for her first seven months Baby A was an "easy baby," "good" in the sense (to use my mother's definition) that she generally proved convenient for her caretakers. Indeed, she was a godsend for nervous new parents. When M and I anxiously pondered the reason for her tears, our standard cry became "First principles!" And sure enough the reason was usually a wet diaper, or hunger, or fatigue.

Also, bless the fates, we haven't had a lot to worry about. Baby A's growth has tracked classic patterns, and for the most part she's stayed ahead of the developmental curves. And her growth has been largely linear, her progress coming in steady steps. First, for example, she slept for a couple of hours straight, then a solid three hours, then mostly a steady four or five, throwing in an occasionally blessed six-hour stretch.

Then the kid grew her first tooth. And suddenly I began anticipating my return to the daily slog of commuting, lesson planning, teaching, and essay grading with renewed verve.